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³ªÀÇ ³·Àº ÀÚÁ¸°¨ (My Low Self-esteem)-¿µ¾î/ÇѱÛ
ÃÖ¿µ±â  2021-11-05 15:12:15, Á¶È¸ : 792
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10¿ù 27ÀÏ ¿ÀÀü 5:50 ¡¤

³ªÀÇ ³·Àº ÀÚÁ¸°¨ (My Low Self-esteem)-¿µ¾î/ÇѱÛ

I struggled with inferiority complex since I was a child. After I met Jesus and received unconditional love from God, it began to disappear. Then I read in a book that perfectionism is a sin, and it made me realize that my inferiority complex was rooted in perfectionism and I was therefore sinning. This realization helped me to ultimately overcome my inferiority complex.
But after my wife¡¯s passing, I find that it isn¡¯t completely gone.
My most prominent lingering feeling in regards to my late wife is regret. I am constantly thinking, ¡°I should have loved her more, cared for her more, or appreciated her more.¡± Then it dawned on me that this regret is the result of my inferiority complex. She expressed her love with words and actions, but I didn¡¯t allow it to touch my heart because I felt I didn¡¯t deserve my uncommonly intelligent and beautiful wife. Had my self-esteem been greater, I would have been more proactive in showing her love and made her happier.
I see the same low self-esteem in my relationship with my children. My children and grandchildren say they love me and sometimes express their love through letters. But I still feel like they would shed a few tears, then simply forget about me if I died today. Now I realize this feeling is the result of my belief that I wasn¡¯t a good father and don¡¯t deserve their love.
I also see my low self-esteem in my relationships with other pastors. Many thank me for starting the house church and compliment me for what I have done for the house church movement. But it¡¯s hard for me to accept and appreciate their words because I feel I am not worthy of such love and respect.
Lacking in self-confidence is not all bad. In some ways it actually helped me. It made me cling to Jesus more desperately, appreciate God¡¯s unconditional love more deeply, and prevented me from becoming arrogant or cocky.
However I think it¡¯s time to purge this remnant of my inferiority complex. Otherwise it will hurt the people I love.
I decided to believe it when people say something nice about me. I always had an inferiority complex about my square face and flat nose, but I decided to believe I am handsome because some Samonim have said so. ^^;)
*I¡¯d appreciate your \"like\" when you agree with the post or got something out of it.*
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